Yes and No...

...two important words. Yet don't you find they are sometimes the hardest words to use? Like when your best friend and your significant other need your help at the same time? What do you do? Or, perhaps you were taught always to say yes, to be pleasing. This can make you feel like everyone else owns your life, making you feel out of control.

If you use "yes" and "no" properly, they help keep your life in order and balanced. Or, if used improperly, they will throw your life out of order and off balance, and who wants to live like this? This is very stressful. "Yes" and "no" are short, but beautiful and important words. And even better, the choice to use them is yours. Simple. And. Powerful.

Even if you don't feel like you have the power to choose, you do.

The easiest way to begin using them if you're not good at them, is with people who have strong boundaries - that is they are good at saying "yes" and "no" as they need to. They are good at this because they have respect for themselves and others. And they have respect for both those words, so if you start using these words with them, you have a high change they will respect what you say. This will encourage you and grow your confidence in your ability to change in this area. Notice how good and right it feels after you have said them as you needed. Refreshing.

If you don't know what you really think, so saying "yes" and "no" seems impossible, begin taking note of what you really think/believe, and what choices do you want to make, even if your not ready to act on them.

A third way to know is to stay connected with yourself by making time for yourself to be alone. Write it in your schedule. Take this time to think about your life and where it is going. You can journal about it or even take a walk in nature to add to the experience.

Also, make sure your spending time with people who love and care about you, and want the best for you. Talk to them about this subject. They might be able to offer you valuable feedback.

Saying "yes" or "no" is not a luxury. It is as important as breathing.

Karen Cook Counselling & Therapeutic Life Coaching

Eating Disorders and Women's Issues Specialist

This is your season to learn, grow, and develop a full and deeply satisfying life.