One of the most important things to remember is you are not your disorder or struggle. You are you. Your difficulty, like eating disorders, anxiety, perfectionism, low self-esteem, are your difficulties. They are separate from you. They are 'things' that come to you, usually during times of difficulty, when you are vulnerable. And if there is no one to show you the way and help you through it, it becomes easy to listen to the eating disorder, anxiety, perfection and low self-esteem. When they talk, it is usually in first person, so you think it is you talking, but it is not you. You would say kind and encouraging words to yourself.
Things like eating disorders and anxiety, say enough truth to make you think you need to agree with them, but they are mixed with untruth, or lies, that create negative thoughts and feelings towards yourself that feel toxic and unkind. It's like unconstructive criticism.
When you think you are your difficulty, it becomes intertwined within you, making recovery more difficult. Recovery is not something you need to add hardship to rather you need things that encourage you to love yourself and to keep moving forward into better places.
When you believe that your struggles are something separate from you, it is easier to go through the process of separating from it. You begin to learn when "it" is talking, not you. You can then choose to not agree with the things "it" says and decide to agree to thoughts and actions that bring about feelings, decisions and thinking that help keep you safe and move you into situations that help to foster life and value. We are all looking for life, to feel alive, and to know that our being here has brought value. These are things that create well-being and happiness.
So as you go about your day today, and your week, remember that you are you, and when you find the right voice to listen to and agree with, you are going to like yourself and be able to make choices that grow your life in an enjoyable and fulfilling way.
Karen Cook Counselling & Therapeutic Life Coaching
Eating Disorders and Women's Issues Specialist
This is your season to learn, grow, and develop a full and deeply satisfying life.
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!