Karen Cook   

Counselling Men

 

Deciding on counselling for a man can feel a lot like jumping from one bolder to another with a wide chasm in between where you could free fall.  It can make your blood pump and challenge all your resolve.

 

Yet it always amazed me that a small number of men would still contact me for counselling over the years when I largely advertised I worked with women.  I found that brave and daring.  And would quietly wonder what they saw and read in my website that caused them to contact me.

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Sometimes they were upfront and told me they wanted to recover from an area I worked in and said there weren't many people working with men in those areas, or they liked what I said.  Would I be willing to meet with them?

 

One day while reading a book called "Daring Greatly," by Brene Brown, I realized that in order to really understand and help women, I also needed to really understand and work with men as well.

 

To me, men and women are two halves of a whole.  Without each other our lives seem to be imbalanced and to not function properly.  Despite what we sometimes say, we are happier together.

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And being together is being challenged again.  A women's movement is beginning.  Women are gaining strenth and new positions of influence.  The last women's liberation movement damaged men when individuals became angry at men.  That can't happen again.

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We need men to come with us this time.  We need this movement to better both men and woman.  Men need to step up and come with us.  There is no more room for thinking that one's personal life difficulties is something to hide, or allow to be invalidated and ignore.  One's personal life, the inside of a person, makes up who you are.

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And if we want to be together, one of the best recipes is to deal with our stuff.  We all have stuff.  No one is exempt.  Even the ones who look like they have it all in together - sometimes, especially the ones who look that way.

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Counselling is not an easy step for anyone, but it is even harder for men because of the pressure on men to always be strong.  Even if they don't feel strong, they are told to act it.

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Asking for counselling with the inside of your life may be one of the toughest things you will do.  I get that on some level.  I have places that are hard for me to ask for help in.  It may also be one of the most worthy things you do.

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Perhaps it will help to think of your life like a house.  There are different rooms, each with a unique purpose.  If you were to actually build or renovate a house, you would contact a builder or renovator.

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It's the same way with your inner life.  If there are things that need to be built or repaired, it's best to hire - yes, a counsellor/mentor/coach, which ever word works best for you.

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Yes, it will take 'daring greatly' but most worthy things in life require this.

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A first counselling session is a more informal meeting where I get to hear a bit of what is going on, answer questions you might have and discuss how counselling works.  After this, if it feels like a good fit, we can continue.

 

If you do continue with counselling, we will examine the needed area(s) of your life and the results you currently experience.  I will assist you to figure out how they came to be present and I will act as a guide, using steps of desired change to improve results.

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For some, all you may need to do it talk about what is happening and gain a bit of understanding.  Most will also need some tools to assist in resolving the challenges.  

 

 Call now for a free 15 minute consultation.  I would be pleased to meet with you.